The past 6 months have been full of events.
In March, a good friend and co-worker was shockingly diagnosed with stage IV cancer. No symptoms prior to his diagnosis, really. I'm probably a little sketchy with the details, but from what I understand he went in to get checked for pneumonia. I think one or both of his children had the illness and he thought he may be coming down with it as well. X-Rays showed his lungs were clear, but at the very bottom of the X-ray there was something. After further scans and tests, they discovered his abdomen was littered with tumors. More testing and biopsies later, they diagnosed him with a very aggressive carcinoma of unknown origin, with only about 2 weeks to live. Through various chemotherapies, LOTS of prayers and support, and the hard work of doctors in Mobile and Texas he fought valiantly for several months. He eventually succumbed to it in June, leaving a hole in so many hearts. He was a good man, a great friend and a wonderful husband/father. It's a shame that the best of people end up leaving us so early. I will always remember his quirks and his good deeds, our conversations and his goofiness. Rest in peace, my friend, and continue your kindness wherever you may be.
Now, on a happier note, my second little miracle came about a month after Jeff's passing. Introducing:
Mila Evelyn Rollman, born July 20, 2011 at Providence Hospital at 8:56 am. She was 6 lbs 11 oz and 20 in long.
I won't go through all the details of her birth, but I will tell you that I finally did it without epidural (YAY!! HURT LIKE HELL!) and I popped her out only four hours after the labor woke me up (Why couldn't my water have broke in the middle of the day like last time? BUGGER!). The labor went surprising easy and fast. Was it due to experience? Was I lucky? I haven't a clue, but I'm not going to complain. She's a wonderful baby, with a quiet cry, who eats a TON and is growing much faster than her sister did. We're starting to think that she's even easier than Mei-Ling! And I didn't think it could get much better than her. I'm one lucky momma!
Now, for the realization part. This blog was originally created to follow my journey into opening my own small business. Once again, that dream is put on hold. Temporarily? Permanently? I have no idea. Drew and I had discussions on it and I thought his opinions were pessimistic, but after thinking long and hard about it all I realized he was really being REALISTIC. I try to think of myself as a realist, but I still have dreams and desires that I don't want to admit are probably a little beyond my scope. He helped me realize that time is somewhat of a commodity in my life right now and although my hobbies can make me a few dollars, the requirements are just too much for me to bear at this time in my life. I have a great job (that's a little demanding), a husband and two wonderful children that I have to focus on. If I want to pursue my dreams, I will have to give up one of those things (my job, of course) and we can't confidently say that we can afford for me to do that. So... I'm going to say this dream is temporarily put on hold... I'll still do some small planning on the side, but the major push will have to wait..
So... This blog will now follow a new journey. Inspired by my good friend and sister (Lex, baby, this is for you!), you will join me on my physical and emotional transformation into the beautiful girl I once was (10+ years ago) and would kill to become again. That girl was 140 pounds, a size 4 and very fit, with confidence and attitude oozing from every pore. Will I encounter pitfalls and hurdles? Hell yeah.. Will I lose motivation and confidence in myself? Most likely.. Will I succeed?? Who knows? Stay tuned...
