My Evil Nemesis...

I'd like to introduce you to my nemesis, the most evil item in my life and the source of most of my pain and anguish: THE SCALE.

For the past ten years, my nemesis and I have had a roller coaster relationship. You'd never think so, since we meet daily, twice a day, like best friends meeting for coffee. Unfortunately, the conversation between us is behind closed doors, for good reason. Every day, my nemesis mocks me. She laughs at how little my weight has changed, even though I've tried killing myself through diet and exercise. For ten years, she has said to me:

"You'll never be skinny again."
"You'll never be sexy again."
"You'll never be the way you want to be." 
"Keep dreaming."
Among other things...

Yet I keep coming back for more abuse.

My weight has been up and down over the past decade. Wavering between 20 and 30 pounds more than my goal weight. I run to my nemesis every day, hoping for good news. I hug her when I am lighter. I curse her when I am heavier. I've tried swimming, dancing, running, walking, P90X, Tae Bo, Pilates, stupid gimmick workout video and contraptions, fad diets, calorie counting, the list goes on and on. And what happens? The more I care, the higher my weight goes, which in turn lowers my self esteem and motivation. I quit caring (usually shortly after I started caring) and my weight goes down slightly, but steadies at an undesirable number until I can't stand to look at myself anymore, or my weight slowly creeps up again. AND the cycle continues. She laughs, every time, at the look on my face when I bust my ass and my weight increased by 5 pounds.

Yes, yes, I know. I work out more. I gain more muscle mass. More muscle mass = higher weight on the scale. Try telling my ego that! My hubby says I put too much weight on a number (no pun intended). Yes, I do. It's the easiest measurable number that I can get to gauge my progress! So what do I do?

The only thing I can think of to do:

BANISH MY NEMESIS.

No more meetings and no more abuse.

Some articles say it's important to have a relationship with your scale. I disagree at the moment. If I had a good relationship with her, (hell even an "ok" relationship with her) then sure, I could see why having her around would be beneficial. Until then, consider her exiled from my life. When she can be supportive and encouraging, she may return on a temporary basis, depending on her behavior. But don't fret, she will most likely have other people to either mock or praise in the meantime.

Goodbye, scale. Enjoy your vacation. Bitch.