Got the runs?

So after my P90X fail, I started to really get interested in running. My inner subconscious screams at the thought of running, but I can't help but realize that a runner's body is almost everything I'm striving for. Toned muscles, great legs and butt, and tan to boot. Winning!

Little did I know all the crap involved in this running stuff. Keep in mind that I was NEVER a runner in my younger days. All I knew was weightlifting and dance. Both of which didn't really go good together (weightlifting made me heavier in muscle mass, therefore making it hard to do those jumps and lifts). Anyway, there's training plans, proper pre-run and post-run diet, gear, plotting routes, breathing, etc etc etc. But hey, lots of people are addicted to it, and hubby used to run, so it would be something we could do together. I get pumped, I get going, and.. I trip over hurdles. 

Hurdle 1: Soreness

Holy crap, this running thing makes you sore in places you never knew could get sore! After the first run or two, I get this insane soreness "where my legs attach to the rest of my body." And I'm not talking just a little soreness that goes away in two days. No. I'm talking about soreness that lasts a week and makes me walk like I have a giant pole up my arse. And how does one stretch those muscles? The only way I know how is not something that's attractive or should be done at the gym in front of spectators. But I drudge on, running three days a week, about 1.5 miles each time at a pace of 12 minutes a mile. Not super fast, but not super slow either. I stretch like a mo-fo for the week until the pain finally subsides. Ah.. Now I'm good for this running thing, right?? 

Hurdle 2: Runner's knee or tendon injuries

Nope... I thought soreness was bad, but now that it's not an issue anymore, I guess the running gods decide to inflict some other severely painful test to my dedication. I was running home one day from a delicious dinner at Josh and Denise's house. It's almost exactly two miles from the house and it's my 2 mile day (according to my training plan), so it was perfect. There's hills to conquer, unlike the normal flat surface I had been drudging down the week before, but I can walk fast up the hills. No biggie, right? Wrong. About 1/4 of the way there, I notice a sharp pain going from behind and below my kneecap (patella to you running folks) down my leg to my feet. I think that maybe I stepped on something crooked and hit a nerve and it will go away, so I keep going. The pain continues with every step on my right leg. Crap. I slow down and start walking fast, hoping it will subside. Nope. I slow down even more. Nope. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll make it home! I finally get home and fire up my best friend: Google. I never quite figured out if it was actually a tendon issue or runner's knee, but according to websites I read and talking with other runners, the causes and treatments are basically the same. Causes include:

• Weak knees
• Improper stretching before and after runs
• Stride and Gait
• Overuse in too short a time

GUILTY ON ALL ACCOUNTS. So, I take it easy and walk, instead of run, for a while. I also ice, heat and ibuprofen until I feel it's starting to heal. I was told it could take a month, so I prepare myself for the down time and suck it up. I even bought the band for my leg. Every time I think it's feeling better I try to run and I'm quickly reminded of my injury and my overzealousness. I'm starting to think the running gods don't want me to be a runner, but I don't give up. 

Hurdle 3: The Kiddie Caddy

Hubby, being all excited for my new found interest in the running sport, goes all out and buys me running gear and even a swanky new running stroller. It's a Schwinn Turismo and it's NICE. Giant shocks on the rear axles, mp3 speakers for the girls, sherpa lining for the cold days and it's pretty too. I'm like a little girl getting a new dolls for Christmas! We try it out on a few walks, while I'm recovering from my knee issue and it rides like a dream. The girls seems to love it too. Until.. Yesterday, Drew and I take the girls and dog out for our "runs." He's much faster than me and I'm still nervous about my knee that I tell him to go on ahead and we'll meet back up at the house. He take off. I walk the girls and the dog for a little while, wanting to kick the dog for his inability to stay at my side and away from the stroller. Eventually, he gets it and I decide to try a slight jog. Hmm.. My knee feels good. I go a little faster. Still good.. I start to get excited and I begin to set my pace. Hey, I think I'm ok! I get in the zone with my music and my breathing and I start to get a smile on my face when the stroller goes to a screeching halt. 

"What happened, mommy?" exclaims Mei-Ling, trying to hold onto her bag of goldfish and cup at the same time. I knew it. The front wheel... I nervously walk to the front of the stroller to inspect the damage.. CRAP. The front wheel went sideways and dug into the sidewalk, bending the wheel fork so that the wheel is no longer on and can't be put back on. Shit. I sit on the side of the road forever, with the dog's leash wrapped around my leg so he doesn't run into the street, trying to get the fork bent back and the wheel put back on with the girls still in the stroller. No dice. I'm not strong enough. I kick at it, I try to bend it back using the wheel, I curse at it. Nothing.. Cars drive by with no offer of help (JERKS.) and eventually I hear Mei-Ling say "Hi, daddy!" I breath a sigh of relief and wince at what he might think about me breaking the Kiddie Caddy. He grabs the dog and I wheelie the girls all the way back home, where hubby and I try everything to get that fork bent back to its original form and get that wheel back on. He gets it, eventually, but the wheel's no long in the center of the fork.  Guess I have to call Schwinn and see about a replacement part. My face is so red with embarrassment. 

I'm telling you, someone doesn't want me to be a runner. But will I quit? Hell no. My knee still feels good and the stroller is good enough for now. Bring it, running gods! Is that all you got? 

Holy crap, I'd better watch it. (running for cover)